Date: January 5, 2015
Mood: Content
Weather: Overcast and Cool
Listening to: sounds of home... the
fan, dh on his iPad, a kitty meowing at the door
Reading: Dorothy Parker Drank Here by
Ellen Meister
Today was one of those days where you
almost wish you could go back to a certain point and ask for a do
over. My classes went fine this morning, despite the less than
stellar scores my students were earning for themselves on their
3-part mock speaking test. (Grrrrr It's really frustrating to see
them failing so epically when if they'd just pay attention in class
every day they could be getting excellent scores. But I digress...)
It was between classes though, at lunch time, when everything kind of
went to pot.
We had some upper level administrators
visiting our school from a school back in the States. (They were here
to tour our school facilities and to give a presentation about an
online dual educational program they are promoting. Don't even get me
started on what I think of that idea. haha) So, there was a big
meeting/presentation thing that most of the classes went to, mine
excluded because of their test being scheduled for today. And after
the event was finished the local school administrators invited all of
the attending foreign teachers (which equated to dh and mil) to a
mini banquet with the US admins and admins from surrounding area
schools. However, because my boss had me keep my students back for
testing today, I didn't get invited.
You might think this is an easy to
ignore oversight, but it really hurt my feelings. Maybe if it was a
one off thing it wouldn't have. But I'm usually the one person out of
the four foreign teachers here, that doesn't get invited to special
engagements like this. Dh says it's not the case and that I'm
misinterpreting a select few situations. Perhaps that is the case,
but it doesn't seem like it. It just seems like they prefer him, his
mother, and the other American teacher here to me. Perhaps that is
actually the case. Who's really to say? (The third foreign teacher
didn't attend today because he doesn't have classes on Monday.)
Anyhow, when I finished my morning
classes and went to my dh for lunch in the canteen he couldn't go
because he was already indisposed of in the administrators luncheon.
I was supposed to be given a free pass so I could at least eat lunch
in the canteen by myself for free, but the person responsible for
giving me the pass wasn't advised until last minute herself and was
completely unaware and without any. That left me either going home
or quietly interrupting dh to get our lunch card from him. This is
what I opted to do, but when I snuck in the room and saw just how
many people were present, including mil- again, it felt like a punch
to the stomach.
Stupid, I'm sure. But I've spent so
many years being excluded from things in my social life that I am
probably overly sensitive to this particular issue. Which is why as
soon as I asked dh for the card I promptly decided I didn't even want
to eat alone and just wanted to go back home. I felt bad enough,
still when dh came home over an hour later, he said many of the
people thought I was upset or something was wrong. I was and there
was, to me, yet I wasn't aware I'd made any kind of indication of
such while there. The fact that I came and went apparently made some
of the other people in the room think something was wrong, and that
retroactively made me embarrassed to the point of tears. So, yeah,
all stupid stupid stuff which I would have gladly taken a do over to
avoid. Eiyah.
My afternoon classes went well though
and I was able to put the lunchtime hour drama behind me. I really
enjoy my students and they never fail to put a smile on my face.
Taught one of my students a new idiom/phrase today too. She was
feeling low about doing badly on a couple of questions she'd be given
on another teacher's homework or something, so I introduced her to
the phrase “Don't beat yourself up over it.” She really seemed to
like this phrase, and I'm hoping she'll both enjoy including it in
her future vocabulary as well as take it's meaning to heart in the
here and now.
Because the weather was so
unseasonably warm and beautiful, we took a long family walk this
evening. Enjoyed a chicken sandwich from a little copy KFC down the
road and picked up a tasty pearl milk tea and some fruit at the
market before coming home to watch My Blue Heaven with the kiddos. I guess it's safe to say that the day
ended up turning out okay. Maybe I don't want a do over afterall. :)
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